Will I Kill these Weasels?

Will I kill a pair of weasels that have inexplicably be entrusted to my care to eradicate? I guess we'll never know, but as I wake up, my thought is, 'probably not.' 2-1-2012

I am Getting High on Fluid from a Hydraulic Pump in a Dropped Pickup; I am Sneaky

I am standing in the bed of my friend's lowered pickup truck, sipping hydraulic fluid through one of the hoses like a crazy straw. Suddenly, I realize that it's getting me high, and I crouch down in panic that my mother will somehow be able to tell. I wake up, and I'm still sneaky. c. 2005

I am a Buddy Cop, but Not the Effective One. Someone's Fiance Stabs a Family Member

I am a buddy cop character in the home stretch of a buddy cop movie, where I am employing my own unique skill set to defeat the bad guy. For me, this means wandering aimlessly around a house where people are preparing for their beautiful daughter to wed some asshole guy. My buddy is the more effective one of the duo, and ran away into the night after subduing a team of assassins with his martial arts prowess, so I'm in charge of this situation. The husband-to-be gets in a dispute over something stupid and wedding-related with a member of the family, stabs them, and flees in the 'Just Married' car, so I try to pursue him on foot, but firemen and first responders (they never show up until the end of the showdown in buddy cop movies) are blocking the doorway. The bride is mildly embarrassed that she got the family mixed up with such a bastard, but not very sincerely--because she's enamored with the more effective buddy cop. I get the impression that nobody's really concerned about any of this, and that they can handle the situation themselves, so I wake up, and eat some fajita meat. 1-19-2012

Big Moe is my Football Coach; he Feeds Me Cough Syrup and a Bagel, and we Watch ESPN

I am on a football team coached by Big Moe (this Big Moe  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6NPXLfenQE ), doing conditioning for an upcoming game. This consists of drinking cough syrup and eating bagels with cream cheese on the couch with my friend Big Moe, flipping through channels that seem to be nothing but ESPN and the warning message on pay-per-view cable porn channels. I wake up feeling like there's nothing on, and a little sick--like I drank cough syrup and ate a bagel with cream cheese. 1-16-2012

I am Late

I am late for school. I wake up, and it is Saturday.
or... I wake up, and I am late. On a recurring basis, ever since I was about 8 years old.

I am Leaving a Building; I am Saying Goodbye to a Bunch of Arbitrary People

Two hands peel back the roof of a multi-story home and drop me in. I am in a room with my ex-girlfriend's parents, who were very kind to me. They listen silently as I explain that it's nothing personal, but I have to leave, and I wave goodbye as I go downstairs. I meet more of her friends and family members, and eventually people from my hometown, as I descend through the building, and give my thoughts to each of them. I walk out onto the porch, and her mother grabs my arm and gives me a pair of dentures. I leave with the dentures and I wake up feeling kind of good. Spring 2011

I am in a Runaway Little-Red-Wagon; I get Hit by a Car While Canoodling

I am in a Radio Flyer that has been somehow adapted for use by two mature adults, one of whom I am romantically attracted to is sitting next to me. We are rolling at a dangerous speed down the hill next to the Dining Commons. We embrace, and share a kiss as we roll into oncoming traffic. I wake up, and go to the Dining Commons. 12-14-2012